Is there a free yes/no/maybe list online?

Yes. The Tacitavia questionnaire is free, usually takes 15 to 40 minutes and gives each partner a basic profile. You only need an email for the link – your answers are stored separately and cannot be linked to it.

Will my partner see my “no” answers?

Not in Tacitavia. The comparison only reveals what both of you want or are open to. Refusals stay private, so nobody feels rejected.

How often should we redo the list?

Every few months, or after a big change such as a new baby, a move or a period of stress. Answers that were “maybe” often become “yes” once trust grows.

The yes/no/maybe list for couples

Updated November 8, 2026

A yes/no/maybe list is a checklist of sexual activities where each partner marks every item as “yes”, “no” or “maybe”. Couples compare the lists to find shared desires and respect each other’s limits without an awkward conversation.

Why couples use it

Most people find it easier to tick a box than to say a wish out loud. A list gives both partners the same vocabulary and the same starting point, so nobody has to go first.

It also makes limits visible early. A clear “no” on paper prevents disappointment later, and a “maybe” shows where curiosity exists but needs more trust, time or information.

What a good list includes

The best lists separate giving from receiving. “I like giving a massage” and “I like receiving one” are different answers, and mixing them hides real matches.

Touch and foreplay – kissing, massage, oral sex, where and how you like to be touched.
Settings and timing – places, times of day, spontaneous versus planned.
Roles and dynamics – who leads, gentle or intense, talking or silence.
Toys, clothing and props.
Fantasies and role play.
Boundaries – things that are off the table, now or permanently.

Paper list versus online questionnaire

A printed or PDF list works, but when you swap papers each partner sees every “no” of the other. That can sting, and it often makes people answer more cautiously than they feel.

An online questionnaire can compare the answers for you and show only what you both want or might want. A “no” simply stays private. That is the approach Tacitavia uses: each partner answers alone, and neither ever sees the other’s refusals.

How to use the results

Start with shared “yes” items that feel easy – early good experiences build trust.
Treat “maybe” as an invitation to talk, not as a promise.
Never push on a “no”. It can change over time, but only on that partner’s initiative.
Repeat the list every few months. Desire changes with stress, health, children and age.

Find out what you both want – privately

Each partner answers the questionnaire alone. You get a free profile, and your “no” is never shown to your partner.

Start the free questionnaire

Common questions

Is there a free yes/no/maybe list online?: Yes. The Tacitavia questionnaire is free, usually takes 15 to 40 minutes and gives each partner a basic profile. You only need an email for the link – your answers are stored separately and cannot be linked to it.
Will my partner see my “no” answers?: Not in Tacitavia. The comparison only reveals what both of you want or are open to. Refusals stay private, so nobody feels rejected.
How often should we redo the list?: Every few months, or after a big change such as a new baby, a move or a period of stress. Answers that were “maybe” often become “yes” once trust grows.

This guide is general information about relationships, not medical or psychological advice. If sex causes pain or distress, talk to a doctor or a qualified therapist.